Consequences of Premature Ejaculation

Common feelings men with Premature Ejaculation might experience are:

  • Embarrassment
  • Shame
  • Low self-esteem
  • Lower confidence
  • Feeling down/depressed
  • Feeling like a failure
  • Frustration
  • General dissatisfaction
  • Worried about not satisfying their partner or letting their partner down

Psychological consequences

Common Psychological Consequences are:

Performance anxiety

Premature EjaculationPerformance Anxiety is when a vicious cycle is established, whereby anxiety about a repeated episode of premature ejaculation is experienced whenever a man commences or even thinks about sexual activity.

The more anxious he is, the worse his premature ejaculation becomes.

Especially in modern days, where intercourse is also seen as a means for pleasure and it is believed the longer it last the more pleasure, much more seems to be expected from a man, which in turn may magnify his anxiety.It is important to note that some partners do not necessarily prefer longer lasting penetration; in fact it may even become painful or uncomfortable for them.

Unrealistic expectations

Many men with Premature Ejaculations and/or their partners seem to have unrealistic expectations and expect sexual fantasy type of events in their bedroom. For example, a man may believe he should be ready to go all the time and should be able to last all night long. Furthermore, these unrealistic expectations are supported by the media, pornography and men inflating their talk about their sexual expertise.

These expectations can in turn exacerbate the problem, since men compare their own performance with these expectations and feel inadequate and disappointed.

Common Sexual Myths are:

  • A men should always be ready to have sex - NOT TRUE
  • A men should always feel like having sex - NOT TRUE
  • Men should be able to always have a hard on whenever they want to - NOT TRUE
  • Men should be able to last all night long, every time - NOT TRUE
  • Orgasm must happen for both self and partner to enjoy sexual activity - NOT TRUE
  • Orgasm should be simultaneously - NOT TRUE
  • Women are not satisfied without penetrative sex - NOT TRUE
  • All women want penetrative sex to last for hours - NOT TRUE

Relationship Distress

Unhappy CoupleCurrently in a Relationship

  • Men with Premature Ejaculation tend to withdraw emotionally from their partner
  • They also tend to avoid intimacy and/or affection with their partner, since they are worried that it may lead to sexual intercourse and they might feel they cannot sexually please their partner
  • Avoid sexual encounters all together due to embarrassment and shame
  • This avoidant behaviour may place stress on the relationship
  • Some men blame their partner for their issues which leads to further deterioration of the relationship
  • The Premature Ejaculation can have a great effect on the men's self-esteem and confidence which can further impact on his relationship

Currently Not in a Relationship:

A man with Premature Ejaculation who is currently not in a relationship may feel too insecure, scared or ashamed of pursuing new relationships and/or of approaching new sexual partners. He may be afraid not being able to satisfy his new partner sexually or scared of their reaction to quick ejaculation.

 

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