Delayed Ejaculation

Delayed ejaculation is a common sexual health issue and there is no need to be embarrassed about it.

Ejaculation is the release of semen from the penis following sexual climax. Ejaculation usually happens simultaneously with orgasm, but it is important to note that orgasm and ejaculation are two different processes and some men experience an orgasm even though they don't ejaculate.

It is also important to remember that having an orgasm or ejaculation is not necessary in order to enjoy your sexual activity, it is not necessary in order to please your partner, it is not necessary in order to have a great sex life and be completely satisfied.

Delayed ejaculation can have a major impact on a man's emotional well-being. It is common for men to feel less confident, frustrated, ashamed and embarrassed. Additionally, it can greatly affect his relationship and sexual encounters. Their partner may be worried about doing something wrong or not being attractive enough in order for him to ejaculate. Therefore counselling and sex therapy is often suggested in order to address these issues.

Definition of Delayed Ejaculation

Delayed ejaculation is also known as retarded ejaculation. It is when a man experiences persistent delay or absence of orgasm and ejaculation, despite adequate sexual stimulation, erection and desire to orgasm. Often a man can still orgasm when masturbating or with oral stimulation, just not with penetrative sex.

Contributing Factors of Delayed Ejaculation

There are 4 suggested causes of delayed ejaculation:

1. Emotional, psychological or relationship problems:

• Often intimacy issues, anger or resentment may be involved.
• Absence of sexual thoughts/fantasies while sexual active
• Anxiety/Trying to hard for build up to orgasm to not drop off
• Arousal difficulties with the partner.

2.  Organic Causes are:

• Spinal cord or neurological injury
• Major pelvic cancer surgery
• Diabetes Mellitus
• Age related penile hypoanaestesia
• Intracavernous self injection

3.  Pharmacological Side Effects:

• SSRI anti-depressants
• Anti-psychotic medication

4.  Idiosyncratic Masturbatory Style/Desensitisation of the penis through habituation:

• Idiosyncratic Masturbatory Style is when a man is used to rubbing his penis against rough surfaces while masturbation, which has desensitised his penis

Treatment of Delayed Ejaculation

Delayed ejaculation is difficult to treat.

Treatment may include:

• Medication modifications. A change of antidepressant medications/SSRI may be needed. This has to be done under supervision of a doctor.
• Vibrator or electrical stimulation of the penis or via the rectum. This can be used for men who want a baby and who are unable to ejaculate, which would be referred to as anejaculation.
• Sex Therapy/Counselling

Please consult your doctor if you want to modify or avoid medication associated with delayed ejaculation.

Sex Therapy/Counselling for delayed ejaculation

Sexual Health Australia is a confidential counselling service, specialised in sexual health and relationship issues. We have experienced sex therapists and relationship counsellors who offer counselling and support for men with delayed ejaculation and their partners.

We offer individual and/or couple's counselling. Face to face counselling is offered in Sydney CBD and phone counselling is offered nationally. 

We recognize the importance of providing support for partners of men who are suffering from delayed ejaculation, since we understand when in a relationship this often becomes a couple's issue. When in a relationship, a co-operative couple will benefit more from treatment.

Sex therapy for delayed ejaculation may include some of the following:

• Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)
• Reframing/attitude change
• Anxiety reduction/desensitization
• Education
• Masturbation flexibility
• Testing possible sexual realities
• Improving arousal
• Behavioural assignments/homework exercises

If you wish to make an appointment with one of our friendly counsellors or require further information, please don't hesitate to contact us at:

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For more information about our counselling sessions/appointment fees, please click here.