Consequences of Vaginismus

Emotional hardship:

Vaginimus is an extremely distressing condition. It is experienced slightly differently for each vaginismus sufferer, however common feelings may include:

  • Confused
  • Frustrated
  • Feeling lonely/isolated
  • Angry
  • Sad/Depressed
  • Shame/Embarrassment
  • Scared to start a new relationship
  • Worried about partner's feelings/thoughts

Most women with vaginismus feel confused about what is happening to them and are not sure where to go for support. They may feel as if they are the only one suffering from Vaginismus and may not understand why or what to do. When in a relationship they may feel they are a disappointment to their partner. When not in a relationship, they may feel embarrassed or scared to approach a new partner or start a new relationship and therefore it is common for them to isolate themselves.

Relationship Issues:

VaginismusCurrently in a Relationship:

There is no doubt that Vaginismus has a significant impact on sexual relationships.

Although Vaginismus is often considered a women's problem, it is essentially a couple's problem and it may even be a relationship deal-breaker.

It is commonly seen that couples seek therapy because vaginismus has become highly problematic or when they want to have children.

Partners of women with Vaginismus

Partners of women with Vaginismis may feel confused as to what is happening exactly and may not understand why sexual intercourse is being avoided.

Partners may:

  • Feel concerned about their partner's interest in them/physical attraction to them
  • Be worried about doing something wrong sexually and not being able to get their partner aroused enough to enjoy sexual pleasure
  • Be worried about hurting their partner
  • Are distressed about their partner's wellbeing
  • Feel frustrated about not being able to be intimate with their partner
  • Be confused about where to go for support

 Currently NOT in a Relationship

When not in a relationship, Vaginismus may prevent a woman from approaching new partners or starting a new relationship. They may feel ashamed and embarrassed and therefore isolate themselves.

It is important to remember that vaginismus can be worked on without having a partner. This may increase your confidence and your self-esteem to feel empowered to enter in a new relationship or to start meeting people again.


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