Consequences of a Divorce or Separation

Relationship Changes

Especially when there are children involved, a divorce or separation can be extremely difficult. Children also have to learn to accept their parents' decision and adjust to a new lifestyle. They may feel confused, sad, angry and may still hope for a resolution.

Additionally, divorce or separation can have an impact on relationships with close family and friends. They may feel forced to take sides and draw more towards one partner than the other. Or they may feel uncomfortable around one or both partners and may not be a good source of support. On the other hand they may feel they have the right to interfere and make judgments. On top of the traumatic experience of divorce, one has to deal with these changes in relationships as well.

Grief & Losses

Divorce and separation brings about a time of grieving.

It is a time of loss, not just the loss of their partner but of various other aspects, such as:

• Their usual routine and structure
• Ability to see their children every day
• Ability to have children in the near future (for women)
• Losing their home
• Losing financial security
• Losing a partnership
• Losing support from family/friends/community
• Losing/having to change their goals/dreams for the future

Some express divorce and separation seems more difficult to manage than bereavement, since their partner is still around.

Decisions and Arrangements

Even though one might prefer not to see or be involved with their ex partner, they may not have a choice,  since many arrangements need to be made and demanding issues taken care of, such as:

• Splitting up assets
• Finding a new home
• Making childcare arrangements
• Making sure there is financial security
• Dealing with the court system
• Completing paperwork
• Etc

To keep some kind of civil relationship with one's previous partner and to get a sense of control over their life and a sense of stability as soon as possible can therefore be crucial. One may need to be able to get a grip on their emotions in the best interest for their family, friends, children but most of all for themselves.